Five Years After the Bombing

Five years have come and gone since that fateful day. In 1998, Emily was almost killed. In 1999, lung cancer took my father. In 2000, a close family member vanished for a while. 2001 brought the news of my mother’s breast cancer. 2002 was the return of her cancer, with mismanagement of the chemotherapy killing her one week later. 2003 has started out with my daughter spending a week in the hospital with a new set of medical problems. I am tired  no, I am exhausted.

During these five years, Emily has endured 18 operations. At least she has had what we count as 18. There are several procedures that we didn’t consider operations, and there were several of the operations that involved multiple procedures. 18 was just the best count that we could come up with.

We have traveled to the Dominican Republic for stem cell treatment because the religious and political environment had it illegal in the United States. Our country falls behind the rest of the world in stem cell research not because of a lack of ability, but a desire to stay in the dark ages. Science will eventually prevail, but the United States will not be the leader.

Did the stem cell treatment work? Emily was back in a leg brace following one of the operations. A nail was embedded in a nerve, and removal resulted in the loss of her ability to pick her right foot up. After a year, she was still unable to lift her foot. A few months after the stem cells, the brace was gone. Some might say that she would have healed without it. Some might say that it is a miracle cure that should be available to all. I say that we don’t know because the United States is so far behind in doing unbiased research. All I care about is that Emily is walking again.

Other parts of her body are not doing as well. Her right middle finger was torn apart at the middle joint. It continues to grow on one side, causing it to curve to the right at the middle joint. As her ability to use it decreases, the pain increases. There are options, none of which are good. The finger can be amputated, it can be fused to where it won’t bend at all, they can do a joint replacement that will last for about ten years, or she can suffer with the pain. The joint replacement appears to be in her future, but they want to wait until she is in her 60’s. As the replacement only lasts for about 10 years, and the tissue won’t stand multiple replacements, they are holding off for as long as they can. She will just have to endure the pain until then. We have purchased a signature stamp, as the use of her hand for the short amount of time required to sign her name is painful and getting more difficult.

Even more troubling is her eye. Tear ducts don’t work as well as we age. As Emily’s were seriously damaged by the blast, she has the tear production of someone much older. Even worse, the secondary tear producing glands on the surface of her eye were damaged by the force and heat of the blast. A contact lens does not rest on the cornea, it floats on a tear film between the lens and the cornea. If there is no tear film, then the cornea cannot get oxygen. Without her special contact lens, Emily has don’t run into the wall vision, but little more. She has the gift of restored sight, but only for a couple of hours a day. Any more time with her contact in causes too much pain. I can easily see the red areas of dryness and where the blood vesicles swell in an attempt to transport oxygen to the starving tissues. To make matters worse, humans blink half as much when they are reading. This means that any dryness is twice as bad when concentrating on reading. Emily can only read for about five minutes at a time.

She has a daily tease of what her vision once was, but nothing more. Even when she can see through her window on the world, it is with one eye and with a fixed pupil size. She can’t easily see steps because of the lack of 3-D vision. Falling is a constant fear. With the skin grafts and other damage she has to her legs, falling would be disastrous.

We went to a 3-D movie at the I-Max Theater. She didn’t bother putting the glasses on, as she will never be able to see things in three dimensions again. Her eye cannot adjust to bright or dark days because her iris had to be sewn to a fixed size.

We are so grateful to the amazing doctors who have restored sight to Emily’s world that would otherwise be black. However, this is like giving her a small taste of what vision is like, and then taking it away again. Her day must be planned in advance so that she can maximize the two-hour window she has on her surroundings.

The group of doctors who worked on Emily’s eye has produced a book called Occular Trauma. It is our understanding that this is the first medical eye surgery book that has a forward written by a patient, so that those reading it will understand the significance of their work. I am delighted that Emily was selected as one of the two people to write for the text.

During the past five years, one event that we will all remember was September 11^th. The horror of that day hit Emily especially hard. I have watched the pain and suffering of one person as a result of terror. The thought of that being multiplied by thousands of people is beyond words.

Sadly, September 11^th put a picture of a terrorist in people’s minds. The picture was that of someone in a foreign country who dressed differently, spoke a different language, and had a different religion. It is easy to think of one group as good and another as bad when they are different from us. Homegrown terrorists like McVeigh and Rudolph are all but forgotten.

Emily’s idea to author a book had no success. None of the publishers wanted to print it. However, a group of saved emails from a couple by the name of Greg and Lauren made the best seller’s list. Lauren was in the twin towers when it was hit, and was one of the few survivors.

It was truly amazing to read their book. Many of the sentences matched word for word what Emily had said. So many of the feelings, impressions, and phrases were identical. I am not suggesting that they copied Emily. I am saying that the experience must have been the same because the resulting emotions and heartache was similar. The only differences between the two situations were where the victim worked and the idea that a foreign terrorist attacked America instead of a native attacking one of our own. If Rudolph had attacked Lauren while she was working at a women’s clinic, their book would never have made it even if her injuries had been identical.

I am not jealous of their success. Their story should be told, and I am pleased that people wanted to read it. We never had a desire to make money from Emily’s injuries, but I think that Emily also has a story to tell.

Even though the book hasn’t made it, there has been a great deal of press regarding the incident. I thought that there would be a big flurry from the media for a few days, and then it would be yesterday’s news. While we have faded into the sunset for the most part, I have been astounded by the amount of publicity the event generated. Perhaps the fact that Rudolph hasn’t been captured has kept the story open.

I guess that Rudolph’s capture would have brought this to a close much sooner. They only reason Emily and I have been so public has been an effort to keep his face out there. He is a one million dollar walking lottery ticket, and I want to make sure that he will be turned in if he ever shows his face in public.

Ironically, we have been accused of being so public about Emily’s injuries because we like the fame or because people think we are making a lot of money from it. I could not care less about being in the press, and we have never asked for a dime to do an interview. We want Rudolph caught. Period.

Many people have asked how we feel about Rudolph still being free. It may seem that he is free, but he isn’t. Rudolph is in prison. He may not be behind bars, and the government may not be supplying three hots and a cot at taxpayer expense, but he is in prison nonetheless. He can’t go out on a date. He can’t have dinner at a restaurant, or even go to the grocery store. When my parents died, I was in their hospital room. Eric will not be with his mother when she passes away. Should he get sick, he cannot run the risk of seeking the help of a doctor. Eric is in prison, and he placed himself there without a trial.

I believe in innocent until proven guilty, and made every effort to say that Rudolph was accused of the incident instead of saying he did it. I have grown tired of this position. If his right to tell his side of the story doesn’t mean anything to Rudolph, I don’t know why I should be so concerned about protecting him. As far as I am concerned, he has admitted guilt by hiding. It is either guilt or stupidity. After all, how bright could he be to hide for five years from something he didn’t do? If he wants to tell his side of this, I would be interested in listening and I expect the legal system to give him the benefit of a fair trial. Until he speaks up, I intend to blame him for it. My mailing address is 267 W. Valley Ave., #365, Homewood, AL 35209. If Eric doesn’t like my accusations, he is welcome to drop me a note.

If I am satisfied that he is being punished, then why do I still want to see him captured? If nothing else, I think that he owes his victims an answer to the question of why? McVeigh had very clear reasons as to why he bombed, and even did it on the anniversary of Waco. Bin Laden also had specific reasons for his actions. I am not in any way saying that I agree with their reasons or the actions they took because of them, but at least there is an answer to the why question.

Some of the anti-choice crowd have been quick to select Rudolph as a hero. I understand that abortion is a controversial subject. However, he also bombed a guy nightclub. For obvious reasons, homosexual couples tend to become pregnant less often.

Some would say that Rudolph was apposed to both abortion and homosexuality because of religious reasons. While I find it sickening to think of someone using God as an excuse to murder, it still doesn’t fit. Eric’s brother is openly homosexual, and Eric seems to have no problem with it. Why is it ok for your own brother but worthy of a death sentence to a total stranger?

Even if abortion and homosexuality had been the basis of Rudolph’s thoughts, what does either subject have to do with the Olympics?

All I know is that Emily and I have survived, and we have continued to stay together. We don’t spend our time wondering what happened to Eric, we spend it being happy that we still have each other.